If the world of psychology had celebrities, John Gottman would be one of them.
That’s what I believe, at least, and what I’ve heard from other professionals in the psychology world. Dr John Gottman was recently on the Arm Chair Expert podcast, a podcast ran by Dax Shepard. Does that name sound familiar to you? It’s probably because he’s an actor who’s married to Kristen Bell (who else a fan of Frozen? No judgement here). The discussion between Gottman and Shepard was interesting considering their differences in age, education, and personality, but it made for an incredible episode that left me with amazing nuggets of information to apply to my marriage and parenting.
One of my favorites: “Know your needs and give that information to your spouse. That way, you can give them the chance to succeed or fail.” - John Gottman. Seems very obvious, but if you don’t know why you’re upset (think BIG picture. You may be upset that he didn’t do the dishes, but really it’s because you’re feeling unappreciated), how is your spouse supposed to know? Educate each other and be (kindly) honest!
I HIGHLY recommend you listen to it (link below) and would suggest you listen to it on a long car ride or by waking up early before the day with a cup of coffee. It’s about an hour and a half, BUT it’s SO worth the length of time. These two cover topics from children, sex, and the four horsemen (curious what those are? LISTEN to the podcast to learn more).
If my testimony isn’t enough to persuade you, John Gottman is able to listen to a couple for an hour and can determine with a 90% success rate if their marriage will flourish or end in divorce.
This dude knows what he’s talking about and is worth listening to.